Miscarriage can be a deeply upsetting experience.
For some people, the loss brings intense grief. Others may feel shock, anger, anxiety, numbness, guilt or a mixture of emotions that changes from one day to another.
Partners can be affected deeply too.
There is no single way you are supposed to feel after a miscarriage, and there is no timetable for coming to terms with what has happened.
Alongside the emotional impact, your body may also need time to recover. Understanding what can happen physically, where to seek help and what support is available can make the days and weeks afterwards a little less uncertain.
What Happens Physically After a Miscarriage?
Recovery depends partly on the stage of pregnancy and how the miscarriage was managed.
According to the NHS, after a miscarriage you may experience:
- tummy pain for a few days
- vaginal bleeding or spotting for up to around two weeks
- a range of emotional responses, including anxiety and distress
You may begin to feel physically better after a few days, or it may take several weeks.
Follow the specific advice given to you by your early pregnancy unit, hospital, midwife or GP, as your circumstances may be different.
Rest if you need to. The NHS advises that paracetamol can be used for pain after miscarriage and recommends avoiding sex until miscarriage symptoms have gone because of the risk of infection.
When Should You Seek Medical Help?
If you're concerned about your symptoms following a miscarriage, contact your pregnancy unit if you have one, your GP or NHS 111.
If you're pregnant or experiencing pregnancy-related bleeding and have severe abdominal pain, shoulder pain, feel faint or dizzy, lose consciousness, or have heavy bleeding that soaks a period pad soon after putting it on, the NHS advises calling 999. These symptoms can require immediate treatment.
Always follow any discharge or aftercare instructions you've been given by your own healthcare team.
The Emotional Impact of Miscarriage
There is no correct response to pregnancy loss.
You might feel devastated.
You might feel numb.
You may experience anger, anxiety, guilt or confusion.
You might find yourself moving between different emotions — or feel very little at first.
Sometimes the emotional impact doesn't fully emerge until the physical experience of miscarriage is over.
The NHS acknowledges that while some people take longer than others to come to terms with a miscarriage, counselling and other support are available through a GP or pregnancy unit.
Try not to measure your response against somebody else's.
Your experience belongs to you.
Miscarriage and Guilt
It's common to search for an explanation after a miscarriage and wonder whether something you did caused it.
In many cases, however, the cause isn't known. The NHS says miscarriage is often associated with a problem in the way the pregnancy develops.
If you're worried about why your miscarriage happened or whether something could affect a future pregnancy, speak to your GP or maternity team rather than trying to find the answer yourself.
Grieving Differently From Your Partner
Pregnancy loss can affect partners differently.
One person may want to talk repeatedly about what happened while another becomes quieter.
One may want to return quickly to everyday routines while the other needs more time away from them.
Different responses don't necessarily mean that one person cared more or is grieving more deeply.
Try to allow room for each other's reactions rather than expecting yourselves to experience the loss in exactly the same way.
Partners can also access support after miscarriage.
Family, Friends and Difficult Conversations
People around you may genuinely want to help but not know what to say.
You don't have to manage their discomfort for them.
It's reasonable to tell somebody what would help — whether that's talking about what happened, practical help, company or simply some space.
Pregnancy announcements, baby showers, social media and conversations about babies may also feel difficult.
You are allowed to decide what you can manage at any particular time.
NHS England's pregnancy and baby-loss guidance similarly emphasises respecting an individual's privacy and recognising that some people want to talk openly about their loss while others do not.
Remembering Your Pregnancy
Some people want to mark or remember the pregnancy they lost. Others don't. Both responses are valid.
You might choose to keep something meaningful, write down your thoughts, plant something, light a candle or create another private remembrance.
But there is no requirement to create a memorial or find “closure”.
Do whatever feels meaningful to you — including nothing at all.
Getting Support After Miscarriage
You don't have to wait until you're at breaking point before asking for support.
You can speak to your GP or pregnancy unit about how you're feeling and ask about counselling or other services.
The NHS also lists national organisations providing specialist pregnancy-loss support, including Miscarriage UK and Tommy's. At present, NHS information lists Miscarriage UK's helpline as 0303 003 6464 and Tommy's helpline as 0800 0147 800.
Some people find individual support helpful; others prefer talking with people who have experienced pregnancy loss themselves.
There is no obligation to join a group or talk about your experience before you're ready.
Looking After Your Mental Health
Grief itself isn't a mental illness, and feeling distressed after pregnancy loss doesn't automatically mean something is wrong.
But miscarriage can have a significant psychological impact. Some people experience persistent anxiety, depression or symptoms of trauma after pregnancy loss.
If your emotional wellbeing is becoming difficult to manage, speak to your GP or healthcare team.
And if at any point you feel unable to keep yourself safe or there is an immediate danger to life, call 999 or go to A&E.
When Will My Period Return?
The NHS says your period can take up to eight weeks to return after a miscarriage, and it may take a few months before your periods return to what's usual for you.
Ovulation can happen before that first period, so pregnancy can be possible before menstruation returns.
Speak to your healthcare team if you have concerns about your cycle or recovery.
When Can I Try for Another Baby?
There isn't an emotional deadline.
Some people want to try for another pregnancy relatively quickly. Others need considerably more time, and some may not want to try again.
Current NHS advice says you can try to become pregnant again when you feel ready and your miscarriage symptoms have gone.
Your own healthcare team may give you different advice depending on your circumstances or how your miscarriage was managed, so follow any individual instructions you've received.
If you're planning another pregnancy, you can also discuss preconception care with your GP or maternity team.
What If I've Had More Than One Miscarriage?
Most people who experience miscarriage subsequently have a successful pregnancy.
If you've experienced three or more miscarriages, NHS guidance recommends speaking to your GP. You'll usually be referred for investigations to see whether an underlying cause can be identified and offered further support.
If you've had fewer miscarriages but are concerned about your individual circumstances, you can still discuss those concerns with your healthcare professional.
Moving Forward Doesn't Mean Forgetting
There isn't a neat ending to grief after miscarriage.
For some people, everyday life begins to feel familiar again relatively quickly. For others, the loss remains intensely present for much longer.
A future pregnancy can also bring complicated emotions. Hope and anxiety can exist together.
You don't need to demonstrate resilience, find a positive meaning in what happened or reach a particular stage of “healing”.
Give yourself permission to respond to your experience in the way that feels right for you — and seek additional support when you need it.
Where to Find Help
For medical concerns following miscarriage, contact your pregnancy unit, GP or NHS 111.
For an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 999.
For information and emotional support following pregnancy loss, the NHS lists specialist organisations including:
Miscarriage UK
Helpline: 0303 003 6464
Tommy's
Helpline: 0800 0147 800
You can also ask your GP or pregnancy unit about counselling and pregnancy-loss support available locally.
Written by Primrose + Ginger